These are my last words to youI have always felt imprisoned by the words that were said to me growing upThey said I will never amount to anythingI was always made to feel like I am not good enough and never will beI’ve longed and waited for that “I’m proud of you” that was never saidI knew that even if I tried to say anything, no one would listen
I never got the chance to heal because I never stopped bleedingThey told me that my life was a constant disappointmentBut I was constantly disappointed at the way they treated meEach day, I was forced to stand there as they tore me apartI’ve always picked up the pieces and lived to fight another dayTo be honest, it was never much of a fight because it always ended the sameWith me crying myself to sleep, waiting for a miracle that never came
There were never monsters under my bedThey were inside my headI was never really coping, that’s why I always had a rope inside my bagIt was my back up plan for my way outI have always felt lost in a room full of peopleI felt unsafe in a house full of individuals I shared my last name with
All I wanted was a chance to be my best selfBut I never made it out of that reject shelfI was not cold or numb, just brokenThat constant feeling like my heart was being slashed openI had to relive the same grief again and againSome of the cruelty I was subjected to should never be spoken
I’m writing this with heaviness in my heartAnd at the same time, I feel lighter because of what I am about to doI know those who forced me to do this would forget about me in a matter of minutesWhy should they care?I held on for this long and where did that take me?I am not angry at the world anymore, I’m just done.