Someone once said “I have enough trauma to be evil and I actively choose not to be.” I felt that. We are all going through something, at different levels but what I want you to know is if you are facing some kind of conflict, you are not alone. Difficult times have a way of making us question everything and sometimes even ourselves. When life becomes overwhelming, it is easy to believe that the situation will never change. But difficult seasons are temporary.
I remember a while back when I was at Ext. 2 magistrate court; I was busy talking and the judge stopped me and asked “how old are you?” at the back of my head I was like ‘really? Is it that serious?’ But I understood why he asked. My description of what was going on in my life at the time was something a 40-year-old should be going through not a 31-year-old. There was a time in my life when my only focus was keeping my sanity and making sure that I never become suicidal. To this day I don’t know how I survived it all. It can only be God who kept me alive through everything because so many people didn’t survive it.
People were busy judging me for the mistakes I’ve made and for somethings I didn’t cause or had control over. Making me loathe myself for being victim to other people’s choices, it was like adding salt to injury. Life humbled me so much that I don’t wish what happened to me on anyone. I hit rock bottom, went broke and that made life harder than it needed to be. Debt closes doors to a lot of things and makes opportunities difficult to take advantage of. I have lost everything, including myself, I am still learning and finding my way back. It is not an easy journey and there are some people who will make you feel worse by reminding you who you were, what you used to have and where you are now. But you know what? that was a bad chapter not my entire story. My lessons will save someone one day.
There will be moments that try the human soul and you will go through things you don’t deserve but giving up won’t serve you anything good. Sometimes survival looks like fighting, other times it looks like resting, asking for help, taking one day at a time, or simply finding the strength to show up even when it’s hard. God will send help at the perfect time when you need it the most, I saw that with my life. I had people abandon me when I hit rock bottom, I was in debt and some ignored me when I asked for help but at the same time, I had people who didn’t hesitate to come to my aid when I needed it. Those people I’m indebted to, they genuinely were by my side and didn’t expect anything in return and had nothing to gain from helping me. They lost sleep because of my situation and really wanted me to bounce back to the best version of myself, you need to have people like that in your corner. They are called destiny helpers or confidants.
“Hardships don’t intimidate me anymore because of what always comes after, there is a blessing in the breaking, find a way to outlive the struggle.”- Bame Bame
The person who emerges from hardship may not be the same person who entered it and that not necessarily a bad thing, the person I am now is far stronger and wiser than before. Challenges teach you a lot about patience, resilience and courage. Hardships can reveal strength you did not know you possessed. The one thing I was advised to do and I am still working on it is to learn to enjoy life while dealing with the challenges of life, and you should too.